Did you know that kids just want attention

I have heard it a million times before in different formats, but today it all made sense.  There really should be Masters Degree programs for parenthood.  I have been blessed with amazing parents, but once I became a parent I didn't realize that it is a whole different ballgame then dealing with adults.  It is so easy to quit, to walk away, to start fresh, to find yourself when its just yourself.  None of this is possible with kids, because they are with you for life, and deserve our undivided 100% attention, but then how do we balance that with taking care of ourselves and staying sane?

So proud of my big boy graduating from Pre1A at Gan Chabad,  he got a Siddur, prayer book, and put on a great show!

This is what I am learning, and I see that it is working, and of course in the different stages of life and a child's age different rules apply.  Different moms also value and need different things, I was reading recently advice on how to have makeup on and always look fabulous even with toddlers in the home and parent life in general.  Some women said they woke up 45 minutes early to get ready, that wouldn't work for me because that loss of sleep would literally ruin my whole day, it all depends on what makes you feel best.  Luckily my husband doesn't like makeup, and I love to dress it up and be all dolled up for occasions, but on a daily basis, I just want to be me and not putting on a show.  I know some women that feel so good with the makeup that enhances their features and makes them look ready for the world.  Just like everything else in life to each their own.

However, kids needing and wanting attention from their parents is universal.  I remember when my oldest was maybe around 3, I learned that the nature of my business has me always on call, so even if I am doing something fun, I will always take a call because it could be a client.  I made an effort to maybe glance at who was calling but not give priority to the phone, and my son said to me, "Eema you are watching me!" and he said it with such happiness, it shocked me what an effect it had on him and how excited he was that I was paying attention.

Today was a perfect example of this, my kids were all ready for school, they took their backpacks and my daughter said hers was too heavy, my son took her backpack to carry it for her.  My daughter in her four year oldness has been quite a handful and everything is a big deal, whining for what seems to me little things, and overstating things are too hard because she doesn't want to do them.  I could have focused on her whining, but instead I focused on the Mitzva, good deed that my son had done by offering to carry her bag for her.

My lesson is that focusing on the positive that happened will ultimately teach them that is what I am paying attention to, and only that, whining, tantrums, and all that disruptive, over the top drama will not be tolerated.

Woo Hoo!
Coach Yulia