Overwhelmed

I'm snacking on the cookie bars that I made a few days ago, it definitely needs work but they are yummy and quite filling.  A friend had asked for the recipe, and when I googled that I wanted no flour and no sugar it directed me to pinterest and had so many options I don't remember for sure the one I did or the portions.  I can tell you what is in it.  3 ripe bananas, i/2 teaspoon of vanilla extract and cinnamon, 1/3 cup applesauce and 1/4 cup almond milk, and then I put too many dark chocolate chips, note to self, more is not always better.  At first they tasted too sweet, but now after being refrigerated, and I am hungry for a snack, they taste pretty delish.

So as I am thinking of what to write I am trying to remember if as a kid things overwhelmed me or if I had anxiety.  I am told that I was very strong willed and a leader and wanted everyone to follow the games I wanted to play, sounds like my kids!  My mom did tell me that I was a bad eater, and at a preschool in Russia they poured yogurt on my head because I wouldn't eat, and they promptly took me out of that school for good.

As my kids embark on brand new, large adventures with new people and without their friends, teachers, or parents. I can feel their hesitation, anxiety, fear of the unknown, but it is not all horrible.  Is it great? not really, is there light at the end of the tunnel, I think so.  The first day my son told me was fun, he made a good friend, showed me his projects and enjoyed himself.  Yesterday they went on their first field trip in huge buses, my husband said they were clinging to him not wanting to go to somewhere they weren't sure of and probably not sure if they were coming back.  At the end of the trip we were told that they cannot go on any more trips unless we chaperon, I think it was just too much, probably a long day, not enough snacks, also over stimulation of the millions of things to do.  Probably many authority figures commanding all around them, I feel for them.  So I told them that today would be like the first day, no more trips, and it makes me a bit sad.  For me the trips were the funnest part, I love meeting new people, I love going to new places, so I have to just let them have their own experiences, and encourage them to try new things and use their words.

I really am enjoying every moment,
or trying to anyway,
I really am looking for an amazing adult relationship with all of my kids,
This nurturing, breathing through the new experiences, and trying my best to be in their shoes is tough for me,
My goal is that they work on overcoming their fears and anxieties, breathe through it, try new things, have new experiences, is that too much to ask for a 4 and 5 year old?
Such is life,
I am the mom they got in this life,
They will live it to the fullest,
They will be proud to be a unique individual who stands up for themselves,
but uses their words and follows the rules,
I'm hoping for the best,
These are good problems,
One thing passes the next one begins,
I'm going to have another cookie,
Have a great day,
Coach Yulia