I have always been a spiritual person, and now that I am married with kids and part of an amazing Jewish community, I have found other ways to connect. I think everyone connects in their own way but it is all leading us to the same place.
- True To Yourself
- Kind To Others
- Sharing Our Gifts
I am blessed to have three amazing children that will be a light on to our world, and I feel obligated to guide them by being an example of shining my light. It is interesting that another meaning of light is the opposite of heavy. I am very sensitive to a person's energy, some people feel light and some people feel heavy. I choose to be a light person, I want to allow every person I meet to be just who they are, not to drag them down. Of course life happens, and there are people we can confide in and share with, it is human to have ups and downs. Enjoy the beautiful, happy energy of my children below.
The next part of this blog will be inspirational stories about this amazing Jewish month of Elul and other Jewish and Torah stories and thoughts that really touched me today. I wish everyone a wonderful weekend, dig deep to find your light, we all have one, but sometimes there are many layers, it is a choice to break through, and sometimes we need support, which is human. The following story is from a family who suffered a great loss, their young mother recently passed away.
The Arm Schlep
It was kind of a strange feeling being at the wedding of Rashi’s brother this past Sunday.
The family deserved a Simcha (joyous occasion) and thank G-d they had one. A time to celebrate and be happy. There was definitely an undercurrent of mixed emotions running through everyone’s heart, but the joy superseded all and the family danced and enjoyed.
But I was having a hard time getting into it. My heart was full of happiness for my brother-in-law and his bride, but my heart was also full of other emotions as well.
Ultimately I knew that I wanted to dance, but I felt more comfortable standing on the sidelines and observing.
Then it happened. The Chasidic Arm Schlep!
I felt a strong New York tug on my arm, turned around to see a family member pulling me, and before I knew it I was right there where I belonged, but couldn’t get myself to go, at the center of the dance floor.
A few minutes later the brides father ‘pulled’ the same trick on me and there I was again.
I realized two things that night: Firstly that it is ok to have mixed emotions, we don’t need to have it all figured out. It is even ok to sit on the sidelines at times, but when there is a wedding you have to dance at least part of the time. There are times when you can’t bring yourself to do it, and you really need is a little of an arm schlep. It’s ok!, allow your arm to schlepped when it’s for a happy thing.
And I also learned that if you ever have the opportunity to be the arm schlepper, go ahead and schlep! You will be doing a Mitzvah and bringing people the goodness they need.
Shabbat Shalom
It was kind of a strange feeling being at the wedding of Rashi’s brother this past Sunday.
The family deserved a Simcha (joyous occasion) and thank G-d they had one. A time to celebrate and be happy. There was definitely an undercurrent of mixed emotions running through everyone’s heart, but the joy superseded all and the family danced and enjoyed.
But I was having a hard time getting into it. My heart was full of happiness for my brother-in-law and his bride, but my heart was also full of other emotions as well.
Ultimately I knew that I wanted to dance, but I felt more comfortable standing on the sidelines and observing.
Then it happened. The Chasidic Arm Schlep!
I felt a strong New York tug on my arm, turned around to see a family member pulling me, and before I knew it I was right there where I belonged, but couldn’t get myself to go, at the center of the dance floor.
A few minutes later the brides father ‘pulled’ the same trick on me and there I was again.
I realized two things that night: Firstly that it is ok to have mixed emotions, we don’t need to have it all figured out. It is even ok to sit on the sidelines at times, but when there is a wedding you have to dance at least part of the time. There are times when you can’t bring yourself to do it, and you really need is a little of an arm schlep. It’s ok!, allow your arm to schlepped when it’s for a happy thing.
And I also learned that if you ever have the opportunity to be the arm schlepper, go ahead and schlep! You will be doing a Mitzvah and bringing people the goodness they need.
Shabbat Shalom
The next story is deep and about the Jewish month of Elul that corresponds with the Virgo in Astrology.
Powerful Dvar Torah by Rabbi Shais Taub,
The King is in the Field
The symbolism of the maiden in Elul takes on even deeper significance when one looks into this week’s Torah reading. In this week’s reading, Ki Seitzei, which we always read in the month of Elul, it describes a scenario about a maiden, the “na’arah me’orasah,” literally “engaged young woman,” who has been betrothed but not yet married. The passage about the maiden is a difficult passage to read because it is describing a horrific scenario. It is the scenario the Torah uses to teach us the law in the event that such a young woman is, G-d forbid, victimized
(But if a man finds the betrothed young woman in the field, and the man overpowers her and lies with her... the man who lay with her shall die. To the young woman, you shall do nothing... for just as a man rises up against his fellow and murders him, so is this case. Because he found her in the field... and there was no one there to save her.)
As we said, this is an uncomfortable section of the Torah to read, but Torah deals with all matters and gives us guidance in every aspect of life and if we delve deeper, we realize the Torah is not just describing the legal status of such a situation – that the victimizer is fully accountable and the victim is completely innocent – but that this law also reveals the truth about the powerful time we are in, the month of Elul.
Who is the “engaged maiden,” the “virgo” of the month of Elul? We are.
Each one of us. We are engaged to our beloved G-d who betrothed our souls at Sinai.
What is the field? The field is this material world, a place of spiritual danger, where our souls have been placed.
The “man of the field” is the yetzer harah, the animalistic and selfish drive of the human being that victimizes the pure and innocent maiden, the soul.
Throughout the year, the dark and selfish side of our nature may victimize our pure maiden. Even if at first we are horrified, we eventually become desensitized. Perhaps it’s a survival mechanism. We can’t afford to be sensitive. And by the end of the year, as another Rosh Hashanah approaches, we think to ourselves, “I am too far gone. My beloved king is in the palace and I am out here in the field. And look what has happened to me.”
And then, something happens. The king arrives, right there in the field. And when we say field, we don’t just mean a field as it symbolizes the mundane. We don’t just mean peasants in their torn overalls pushing a plow. We mean the field as it symbolizes what happened to the maiden in the field.
We mean a place of danger, a place of brutality, and degradation.
But in Elul, where is the king? Right there in the very field where innocence was forcibly taken from us. And who is the king? Our future husband. We are engaged to him. The king shows up, finds us in our degraded state... and he looks at us with a face that radiates nothing but love and acceptance as if to say, “Nothing that happened in this field could ever change my feelings for you. The yetzer harah is the abuser. You are not to blame. You are innocent... and you are as pure as the day I betrothed you.”
Start Your Day Over
On a lighter note, my bubbe a”h used to tell a story about a “betrothed maiden” from her day and age – a young immigrant girl who met a nice Jewish boy and got engaged. The boy’s family had been here for a generation already and were more established and hence seen as more refined while the girl’s family was more “green.”
The engaged girl wanted to impress her future in-laws and invited them over to her family’s modest apartment for a real American turkey dinner. The crowning moment was when the young “kallah” was to emerge from the kitchen with the turkey on a platter. Looking just like a princess, she came out from the kitchen with the platter on her outstretched arms... and tripped! The turkey fell off the platter and straight onto the floor. There was more meat on the floor now than the girl’s poor, hardworking family normally ate in a month.
Without missing a beat, the girl’s mother smiled and said every so calmly, “Darling, be so kind as to pick up the turkey, bring it back into the kitchen, and bring out the other turkey.”
Someone once told me, “When you’re having a rough day, remember that you can start your day over any time you like.” At the moment of our humiliation, we feel like everything is over; that we are all over. But it’s not true. It could never be true. And Elul reminds us of this. Start your year over. Start your life over. You are innocent. You are pure. Good Shabbos.
The King is in the Field
The symbolism of the maiden in Elul takes on even deeper significance when one looks into this week’s Torah reading. In this week’s reading, Ki Seitzei, which we always read in the month of Elul, it describes a scenario about a maiden, the “na’arah me’orasah,” literally “engaged young woman,” who has been betrothed but not yet married. The passage about the maiden is a difficult passage to read because it is describing a horrific scenario. It is the scenario the Torah uses to teach us the law in the event that such a young woman is, G-d forbid, victimized
(But if a man finds the betrothed young woman in the field, and the man overpowers her and lies with her... the man who lay with her shall die. To the young woman, you shall do nothing... for just as a man rises up against his fellow and murders him, so is this case. Because he found her in the field... and there was no one there to save her.)
As we said, this is an uncomfortable section of the Torah to read, but Torah deals with all matters and gives us guidance in every aspect of life and if we delve deeper, we realize the Torah is not just describing the legal status of such a situation – that the victimizer is fully accountable and the victim is completely innocent – but that this law also reveals the truth about the powerful time we are in, the month of Elul.
Who is the “engaged maiden,” the “virgo” of the month of Elul? We are.
Each one of us. We are engaged to our beloved G-d who betrothed our souls at Sinai.
What is the field? The field is this material world, a place of spiritual danger, where our souls have been placed.
The “man of the field” is the yetzer harah, the animalistic and selfish drive of the human being that victimizes the pure and innocent maiden, the soul.
Throughout the year, the dark and selfish side of our nature may victimize our pure maiden. Even if at first we are horrified, we eventually become desensitized. Perhaps it’s a survival mechanism. We can’t afford to be sensitive. And by the end of the year, as another Rosh Hashanah approaches, we think to ourselves, “I am too far gone. My beloved king is in the palace and I am out here in the field. And look what has happened to me.”
And then, something happens. The king arrives, right there in the field. And when we say field, we don’t just mean a field as it symbolizes the mundane. We don’t just mean peasants in their torn overalls pushing a plow. We mean the field as it symbolizes what happened to the maiden in the field.
We mean a place of danger, a place of brutality, and degradation.
But in Elul, where is the king? Right there in the very field where innocence was forcibly taken from us. And who is the king? Our future husband. We are engaged to him. The king shows up, finds us in our degraded state... and he looks at us with a face that radiates nothing but love and acceptance as if to say, “Nothing that happened in this field could ever change my feelings for you. The yetzer harah is the abuser. You are not to blame. You are innocent... and you are as pure as the day I betrothed you.”
Start Your Day Over
On a lighter note, my bubbe a”h used to tell a story about a “betrothed maiden” from her day and age – a young immigrant girl who met a nice Jewish boy and got engaged. The boy’s family had been here for a generation already and were more established and hence seen as more refined while the girl’s family was more “green.”
The engaged girl wanted to impress her future in-laws and invited them over to her family’s modest apartment for a real American turkey dinner. The crowning moment was when the young “kallah” was to emerge from the kitchen with the turkey on a platter. Looking just like a princess, she came out from the kitchen with the platter on her outstretched arms... and tripped! The turkey fell off the platter and straight onto the floor. There was more meat on the floor now than the girl’s poor, hardworking family normally ate in a month.
Without missing a beat, the girl’s mother smiled and said every so calmly, “Darling, be so kind as to pick up the turkey, bring it back into the kitchen, and bring out the other turkey.”
Someone once told me, “When you’re having a rough day, remember that you can start your day over any time you like.” At the moment of our humiliation, we feel like everything is over; that we are all over. But it’s not true. It could never be true. And Elul reminds us of this. Start your year over. Start your life over. You are innocent. You are pure. Good Shabbos.
Shabbat Shalom,
Coach Yulia
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